My thoughts are all over the place lately, so if this post seems to lack a sense of structure I want to offer you my sincerest apologies, and hope that you still find some sort of amusement amongst my musings.
Since returning from New Zealand my life has not been too eventful. My first few days back consisted of working, from the time I woke up until the time I went to sleep, on my global perspectives trip assignment. For those of you who don't know my trip to New Zealand also fulfilled my cross cultural requirements for college. At Lee University, the University I attend, each student must submerse themselves in a culture different from their own in order to graduate. I decided on an individually arranged trip (a trip not with the University). This trip being New Zealand. In order to receive credit I had to turn in a very lengthy project. It contained pictures, news clippings, ticket stubs, journal entries, and case studies. Case studies are interviews of people of the different culture.
After submitting my project I went back to "normal" summer time life, for me. I read "The Fault in Our Stars", as well as watched the movie the day after it was released. I read "Blue Like Jazz", and loved it. I really suggest that you read it if you want a book that is very convicting, relatable, and thought provoking. I ordered my school books. Visited a few friends. Attended church. Watched a few documentaries. Played Sims. Read the Bible. Prayed. Wrote in my journal. Skimmed Facebook and other social networks. Oh, and I mowed the lawn... a lot.
Summer for me has always been the same. I don't know why I do this every summer. I don't do much over vacation, but hangout at my house and do nothing. In the most recent years however my mother has been with me. This is especially cool because it has allowed me to become closer to her. Growing up she was mostly with my sister, taking her to horse shows and such, and I was mostly with my father, so we did not have much time to get close. But now we do.
I have taken my longing to be back at school and tried to be productive with it. I have planned out parts of my upcoming semester. I have flipped through my new planner and added things like, hall reunions and basketball games. I have written letters that I plan to pass out when I return. I have kept in contact with friends from school. I have gone through my stuff and attempted to sort out what I am bringing back with me. However, this mostly just leads to stress, anxiety, and a sense of being overwhelmed. Not because I don't want to return to Lee, but because my stuff is so disorganized I don't know where to begin. As a result I freak out, leave the room, and continue to do something else. I'm very good at procrastinating and ignoring problems I don't want to address at the moment.
The other day I watched two documentaries. One was, "Craigslist Joe" and another was "Happy". I enjoyed "Craigslist Joe", but not so much "Happy". There were a few reasons I was not too fond of "Happy". One, it was not what I expected, it took more of a scientific approach than I thought it would. Two, it felt strange to me to approach happiness in such a scientific way. To suggest that happiness could be derived from genetics, or brain chemicals, I don't why, but it rubbed me weird. But "Craigslist Joe" was good. It was about a man who decided to live off Craigslist for a month to prove that community still existed. His idea of community was that people help each other out. In the end he proved his hypothesis correct, and met a lot of interesting people along the way. It was very enjoyable. I throughly enjoyed the free haircut he received towards the end, it made him look very handsome.
Another part of my summer, unfortunately, is a lot of desperate prayers to God for many things. I say unfortunate because I wish circumstances never had to come to this. But despite that, I always love being able to communicate with God. I just wish circumstances were better. It has been as simple as the heartbreaking news that some people I love may not be returning to school simply because they cannot afford to do to things that are much more complicated.
This year I developed a new perspective for cancer as it slowly made it's un-welcomed way into my life in many different forms. At the beginning of the semester I went to my campus doctor for a check up after my stomach disorder had a long flare-up mixed with some wicked acid reflux. But while there my doctor found that my thyroid was a little large. Long story short it was suspected for a long time that I possibly had thyroid cancer. However, there were no definitive answers. The more I went to doctors, the more masses I found on my body, but no answers. By the end of the first semester it felt like every day I grew weaker, and I feared that no one would ever discover what was wrong with me. In addition, some people that I hold close to my heart discovered they have cancer. When I returned home after New Zealand I went through more testing with my doctors here. They found that I have two masses in my thyroid. Both thought to be benign cysts. It is also thought that the others masses on my body are benign cysts. As a result my doctors screened me for an autoimmune disorder that runs in my family. This possibility honestly scared me because I had seen the immense amount of pain and exhaustion it has given my mother. But the results came back, and I have the genetic marker that gives me a predisposition for the auto immune disorder that could affect my skeletal, muscular, and digestive systems. The good news is cancer is pretty much wiped off the table. The bad news is, I possibly have an auto immune disorder. I don't know for sure because in order to have a definitive answer I need years of data that displays the degenerative work of the disorder on my body. However, I am excited to see what God is going to do through this.
That look upon life is something I learned from the mother of a dear friend of mine that I met this year. I love her very much, and it saddens me to know that her fight with cancer is coming to an unfortunate close. But I will continue to pray for healing everyday, and if she happens to leave us I know she'll have an incredible welcome for her up in Heaven. She has touched so many lives. There has never been a night since I heard that she was growing very ill that I have not shed a tear, but I know she has lived a good life and has fought the good fight. I love you very much Mrs. Jeanna, please tell Christ I said hello!
Basically...
I'm learning how to keep myself busy in a jobless, schoolworkless, sociallifeless, lengthy period of time. I have found that this is an amazing opportunity to work on my relationship with God, and for building upon my strengths and weaknesses.
I am learning to see the light it what seems like dark times.
I am learning to choose happiness, and understand that sometimes I will be sad. And that is okay. I just have to be careful with how I cope with that.
I am learning to be okay with illness and pain, and to look for the good that comes from it.
P.S. I have also decided to take a break from social media because I have realized that when I wake up the first thing I do is check Facebook and Instagram. Which to me is honestly no problem. But then when I challenged myself by asking if I could live without it, I hesitated, and I knew it was time to give it a break.
However, because it is the way I contact with some people I have given myself a few loopholes. For example, I have allowed myself the ability to post my blog posts. I have allowed my self to check messages, and my friend's page to see how her mom is doing. However, I am trying to not check notifications, scroll through my newsfeed, or post things. It think this will be interesting. I'll see what I do.
THE THINGS COMING UP IN MY LIFE:
-Drama practice. I forgot to mention I have started up a drama team with the youth group at my church with two of my friends.
-Dr.'s appointment to see what condition my body is in
-Return to school
I'm most likely forgetting something....
Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my words. If you enjoyed this and want to here a little about New Zealand check out my posts with the phrase "Traveling Home" in the title.
If you enjoyed this you might also enjoy my other blog http://yourekillingmesmalls23.blogspot.com/
Okay, bye!
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Traveling Home: Day Four
Today we left Auckland and made our way to Rotorua.
The McDonald's was fascinating. Like the one in the airport we went to when we first arrived in Auckland, the menu was different, but even more there was a cafe. Unlike the cafes at home this one was more then just sandwiches and wraps. It had treats, meat pies, cakes, and some healthier choices in opposition to what else you may find in McDonald's. This was also where you would order tea or coffee that came in many variations.
This is a small coffee. They had a few options for coffee. All were great... so I heard. If you know me you know I'm not that big of a fan of coffee, or tea, or soda really. Water is the drink for me. The had black coffee, which means what it means here in America. Coffee with nothing else added to it. But they also had white coffee, which from what I was able to gather means coffee with cream and sugar.
Then we sat and talked with Ian and Nancy for a while. Unfortunately, Nancy was on the other side of the table so I was unable to interact with her much. So it was Ian and me. Ian asked me if I was the one who rode horses. I laughed, and told him that was my sister. Then I pulled my classic joke, "I like to ride many horses at once." He looked at me with amazement. Then I informed him that I was referring to dirt bikes. He laughed. We talked about family, and many other things. At one point he asked me where I got my curly hair from. I told him from my dad's side of the family. "Really? You think?" Yeah. "Who has curly hair on this side?" "Well, Sarah, Deborah, Barbara. I heard Rodney and Clive had curly hair...." "Oh! Yeah! That sounds about right." I also told him I was studying at University for a degree in youth ministry. He asked what I wanted to do with that degree. This is a common question I have found on all parts of the Earth. I told him that I was not quite sure, but that I wanted to work in a church setting with their youth in some way. Ian was a character and a lot of fun to interact with, even if I needed to get my ears checked. It was unfortunate that we only had a pit stop at McDonald's with Nancy and him. Afterwards we took pictures together. It was a nice moment, but also bitter sweet to think that this would most likely be the only picture I'll ever get to take with them. But I also felt very honored to even have the opportunity to have this one picture.
An advertisement for meat pies. When I was first introduced to the idea I was a little turned off. But they are actually really good. And, no, they are not intended for a dessert. They are to be consumed as a meal.
One of the other options at McDonald's, the "Kiwi Big Breakfast".
The selection at the McCafe.
The McCafe.
Top Left to right: Uncle Michael, Morgan, Me, Dad
Bottom Left to Right: Uncle Ian and Aunt Nancy
After seeing Ian and Nancy we made our way to Cambridge where we stopped at my great aunt Rosemary's house for lunch. Rosemary is my dad's cousins Deborah and Barbara's mother. She was married to Clive. Unfortunately, he died of cancer. Later she married Gary.
Rosemary served us an amazing tomato soup and homemade pizza.
She also had a corgi named Sky that was very sweet and made me miss my dogs at home, including our two corgis.
This is my corgi Ruby.
And our other corgi Sandy.
More pictures of Sky.
Sky's toy pile.
There also was a cat that came to the door. I never found out if she belonged to Rosemary or not.
Rosemary told us all about her life and the things that have been going on. She told us about how she had to give up golf recently, one of her favorite pass times, because her arthritis has gotten really bad. She also showed us her garden out back that had many vegetables and citrus fruit trees.
A lemon tree in Rosemary's backyard.
When her husband Gary joined us he updated us on his life as well. Now he does some teaching at a school near by. One day he brought Sky into work and dressed her up since the school was celebrating the royal family. What amused me was that Gary was wearing sweatpants at work. I loved this since I often get scolded for wearing sweatpants too often back home.
After Rosemary's we finally arrived in Rotorua. In Rotorua we rented a house, or more like an in-laws apartment. There were two bedrooms, and a pull out couch that my sister and I stayed on. The couple we were renting from had some strict rules about upkeep, and there were framed papers everywhere instructing us exactly how to do everything, like setting up the pull out couch, showering, or cleaning a stain on the carpet.
Mountains and trees occupied every horizon around the place. Although the mountains were most likely more volcanoes. In the distance you could see steam coming up from the ground where all the hotspots were. It was really interesting because you could trace the fault line with your eyes just by looking at all the steam coming up from the ground.
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| Eat Street |
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| My meal at Brew. The burger was aioli sauce, lettuce, tomato, burger, cheese, egg, beet root, and barbecue sauce. |
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| pumpkins |
At the grocery store we met this guy who was originally from Michigan. He moved to New Zealand a few years ago. You can tell he has been here a while because now he has an accent that is a bit Michigan and a bit Kiwi. He was asking us about life in America. Since we met him in the meat section we began to talk about meat prices. Meat is a lot more expensive in New Zealand because they have to import a lot, and the meet that they do have here (cows and lamb) they export a lot of it. My uncle joked that he does not even know the prices back home because he does not think about it, he just buys it. But this man was looking very closely and comparing prices to try and find the best deal because there was a lot of money to go into the decision.
After the grocery store we went back and went to bed.
Reflections:
The
rules at the Rotorua place might have bothered some people I know, but I
thought it was all right. It helped us know how to make sure we were not
abusing our stay there. Plus, the place was really nice for a reason. Most of
all we did not want to be those “typical Americans” who leave places worse than
when they got there. For me abiding by the rules was an easy way for me to
express my gratitude towards the owners for letting us stay there.
At
the Brew we had the place to ourselves until about six or seven. Apparently
here we are early eaters. However, our stomachs were on a little bit of a different time zone. Then crowds started pouring in. All of the sudden we
were surrounded by lots of noise. There was a moment of amusement that hit me
when I realized the only Americans in the room were not the loud ones. At first
I was a little annoyed only because it made me anxious, and my anxiety makes it even harder for me to swallow my food, but once I was able to
calm down I began to enjoy it. I observed closer, and no longer saw people being
obnoxiously loud, but rather people with friends and family really happy to be
together. To me this was not something to be upset about anymore, but something
to smile at and rejoice over. This kind of connection they seemed to have was
something I was envious of and wish I had more of in my life.
The
more and more I am here the more I realize there is so much here to take in,
especially the nature. It seems like everywhere I go there is a new type of
bird chirping at my feet, and not just any everyday bird but one that makes
really cool sounds or looks like a fan. I have found a whole new love for
nature that I never knew I had or would have.
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| Dog statue on the side of the road photo cred: https://www.flickr.com/photos/uskiwiman |
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| Sign on the side of the road. Remember it's May, winter's coming. photo cred: https://www.flickr.com/photos/uskiwiman |
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| A statue on the side of the road photo cred: https://www.flickr.com/photos/uskiwiman |
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| This was a KitKat bar I bought from the grocery store back in Auckland. It was called cookies and cream. It had three different parts. |
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| The gooey part |
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| The crunchy part |
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| The smooth part. This made me wish that KitKat was owned by Nestle here so that we could have more products like this. IT WAS AMAZING |
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| Rosemary's backyard |
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| Aunt Rosemary's House |
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| Pizza cutter at Rosemary's |
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| Water gun at Rosemary's |
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| Inside of Rosemary's house. |
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| The place we were staying. |
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| The entire house. Our room place was on the bottom floor behind my uncle Michael. |
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| A Church we passed on our travels. |
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| Hot Cross buns at the McDonald's McCafe |
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Morgan and I in Rosemary's backyard with Sky
photo cred: https://www.flickr.com/photos/michaeldodd
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other treats
 photo cred: https://www.flickr.com/photos/michaeldodd
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| Sign on the side of the road on the way to Rotorua photo cred: https://www.flickr.com/photos/michaeldodd |
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| Morgan and I at the Brew photo cred: https://www.flickr.com/photos/michaeldodd |
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